


Mass Effect One Shots

by Moukin



Category: Mass Effect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-14 07:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4556382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moukin/pseuds/Moukin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots for the Mass Effect fandom. Most will be FemShep and Garrus pairings, but there will be others if the prompt would fit different relationships better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Saw You Staring

**Author's Note:**

> This story can also be found on my Tumblr (thewritingraptor) and Wattpad (Moukin)

Garrus Vakarian was watching his commander carefully, wondering exactly how he should address the scene he had just come upon. It wasn’t something one saw often, and for good reason; walking in and finding Commander Shepard staring down a seemingly random civilian in the middle of a holding area filled with refugees could have put anyone on edge, and everyone was already stressed enough as it was with the Reaper War tearing apart the galaxy.

The brunette woman, with her hair tied up in a tight bun and stress lines worrying her face, dragged her hard, green gaze from the blond man in front of her the moment the turian appeared at her side, and a flash of gratefulness flitted through her features at the much-needed distraction he presented. She nodded, something that served to further confuse her turian boyfriend, then turned back to fix a glare on the still-unnamed yet somehow familiar looking blond. “I’ll be back later, Conrad. Don’t move.”

Conrad. Conrad Verner. Suddenly, Garrus remembered the man, memories from over two years ago, before the fight with Saren and his first mission with Shepard, flooding his mind. He remembered an over-eager human asking for Shepard’s autograph, eventually going so far as to suggest becoming a Specter to help Commander Shepard on her quest. But, last Garrus knew, Shepard thought of him as a well-meaning if not… earnest man. Whenever she thought about him - which happened fairly often as Garrus liked to bring him up to teasingly remind her about the fans she had accumulated over the years - she would always shake her head and smile in a mix of exasperation and happiness.

Garrus, having been lost to his memories, didn’t realize he was moving until he nearly tripped into the elevator. Shepard kept him upright, though, using the hand that wasn’t pressed into his back to catch his chest just as the doors to the small room slid closed.

The brunette stepped away and sighed, leaning up against the cold, metallic wall and shutting her eyes tight. The turian used a talon to lightly trace the blue patterns painted onto his face, hesitant to reach forward and touch Shepard and unsure of what else he should do with his hands.

Shepard opened her eyes, looking confused for a reason that Garrus couldn’t understand - there was a lot he was having trouble understanding at the moment. She opened her mouth to speak, but the elevator door slid open before she could, announcing their arrival at Purgatory. Garrus cocked his head to the side and flared his mandibles, wondering exactly why Shepard had brought them to a bar, but she was out the door without sparing him another glance.

Garrus followed as he knew he was supposed to, murmuring apologies whenever he bumped into someone with his broad shoulders and wide armor. He watched Shepard’s hips sway as she glided between people, and he idly wondered how they would look if she were dancing. He doubted he’d be able to get her drunk enough to consider it tonight, but perhaps he could persuade her into it sometime later. If they managed to get more time to themselves after this; time was tight enough as it was with the war raging on around them.

The couple ended up at a private table, each carrying two tall, cold drinks of different, distinct colors. As Garrus lightly sipped one of his green drinks, he watched Shepard chug one of her blue ones. Again, he cocked his head to one side and flared his mandibles, wondering what had put Shepard in such a mood, and what had caused her change in opinion of her “biggest fan.”

But, when his commander and partner didn’t speak, he decided to. “So did you lose a member of your fan club?”

Shepard’s glare from earlier returned. “I’m not in the mood, Vakarian.”

Garrus’s mandibles flared again, this time in silent laughter, and he hoped the woman couldn’t tell; the use of his last name obviously meant that he was in trouble, or that he would be if he tried to press his luck, but he couldn’t help but find humor in the fact that the great, fearsome Commander Shepard was pouting in front of him, ready to throw a temper tantrum if he pushed her buttons.

And that was exactly what he was going to do.

“It’d be a shame if you lost your biggest fan.” Shepard’s gaze narrowed further, but Garrus only steepled his fingers together, propped his elbows on the table in front of him, and placed his chin on his knuckles. “I just hope he hasn’t become something more than that.” At that, Shepard looked both confused and angry, like she couldn’t decide which she should be, so Garrus decided to explain himself. “I saw you staring at each other. I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.”

The human lashed out, her tiny hand smacking roughly into Garrus’s elbow and knocking it out from under him. He fell forward slightly before recovering and straightening up, his mandibles flaring once again, and he knew Shepard could tell that he was laughing at her.

The two ended up staring at each other for a few silent moments, which were eventually broken by Garrus as he rumbled, “I can’t tell if this staring is sexual or angry, either, if that’s any consolation.”

Shepard couldn’t help the small quirk of her lips, and the frown that replaced it seconds later was clearly forced. The smile she was forcing back was clear in her voice as she breathed, “How about we take this back to my cabin and figure it out there?”

The two never made it back to Shepard’s cabin; never even made it back to the Normandy. It was easy enough to find an empty room in the Presidium. And neither of them seemed to mind that the salarian neighbor came out of his room just in time to get an eyeful of a topless Commander Shepard with her legs wrapped around Garrus’s waist and her lips on his neck. The door was kicked closed just as the man opened his mouth to shout some sort of complaint, and though he didn’t let that cut him off, his voice was drowned out by various groans and sighs and Garrus’s throaty murmur. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather be doing this with Conrad?”


	2. Sunburn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group spends a day at the beach a year after defeating the reapers. Of course, with resources being as limited as they are, sunscreen isn't readily available.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also found on my Tumblr (thewritingraptor) and Wattpad (Moukin)
> 
> I got the idea for this from garrusvakarian2153's Tumblr post about sunburns, found here: http://garrusvakarian2153.tumblr.com/post/108763707020/any-interesting-things-you-learned-about-humans

The large star Sol was beating down relentlessly, reflecting off the nearly white sand and the large body of water in front of the large group that was doing their best to relax. Unfortunately for most of them, the heat made it hard for them to lay still, and their constant shifting was annoying their companions.

Eventually, four humans stood as a collective group and made their way to the ocean. The aliens behind them shared amused glances, but they went ignored for the time being. The humans were too focused on entering the water and cooling off to reprimand their former crew members.

Commander Shepard was the first in the water, wading out until her shoulders were submerged in the water. James was next, swimming out past his commander and shooting her a smirk as if challenging her. While the woman just rolled her eyes and turned away, Ashley swam to join the muscular man, calling out something flirtatious in the hopes that it would distract him and give her time to catch up. Joker, entering last, didn’t go quite so far, knowing better than to endanger himself by going out to where the current was too strong for him to fight against it.

After dunking her head under the water, Commander Shepard went to join her former pilot near the shore, where he was chatting with the AI sitting on a towel about a meter away.

“Hey, EDI!” the man called, scratching at the beard that had gotten scruffier since the end of the Reaper War. “How strong is the current right now?”

“According to my calculations, the currents are measured at 45 Sv, and they seem to be growing stronger.”

Joker nodded, then turned to Shepard with a playful frown. “You couldn’t have chosen a calmer day to bring us to the beach, Shepard?”

The human crossed her arms over her barely-covered chest, smirking when she caught Joker’s gaze lowering to her cleavage before shooting back up to her face - everyone was having a bit of difficulty seeing the commander wearing so little and being so confident about it. “Don’t complain, Joker. Just be glad that we got to come at all.”

“That reminds me: how did you manage this?” As the commander turned her attention to the asari that was now propping herself up on her elbows, the blue woman continued. “I’m the Shadow Broker and I wouldn’t have been able to convince the new council to let us have this beach to ourselves for an entire day.”

“Then perhaps the commander should take over your job,” the prothean beside her commented, still on his back as he stared up at the clear sky.

Wrex laughed, and Grunt soon joined him as Liara cried, “I can do my job just fine, thank you!”

“Then are you trying to say that you are less charismatic than Commander Shepard?”

Everyone laughed at that suggestion, prompting the woman at the brunt of their joke to huff and roll her eyes. “I got you lot to join me in a suicide mission, didn’t I?”

“Not me,” Wrex rumbled. “And you had to cure the genophage before I’d consider fighting the reapers.”

“I didn’t join you on your suicide mission either, Lola, and I only joined you this time because I thought Admiral Anderson would be in charge.”

Javik monotonously added, “I didn’t have much of a choice when joining your crew, either.”

“Don’t worry, Sh-Shepard,” Tali drawled, a hiccup interrupting the commander’s name, “I think you’re very charis- char- ch- ah… friendly.”

“It’s the middle of the day, Tali,” Garrus scolded. When she didn’t respond, he added, “You should know to at least share your drinks if you plan on getting drunk.”

“Sorry, Garrus,” the quarian slurred, her head lolling to one side as her drink sloshed out of her cup, “I worked hard for this. I’m not sharing with… nobody.”

Shepard decided to change the subject before everyone could start making plans to get drunk. “Is anyone going to join us? Or did I make a mistake in closing of the beach for the day?”

The next few hours were spent in the sun, with Liara, Grunt, and Wrex eventually joining the humans in the water; Garrus had some lame excuse about needing to watch Tali, but everyone knew he was just adding to the stereotype that all turians were afraid of water, Tali obviously couldn’t get seeing as she was too drunk to stand without the water trying to pull and push her, EDI couldn’t get her body wet, and Javik wasn’t one for goofing off. It wasn’t until the group was preparing to leave that someone pointed out the change in the humans.

“Shepard,” Liara breathed, moving closer to her friend, “what happened to your skin?”

The woman turned to raise an eyebrow at the asari, only to shout and cringe when a blue hand landed on her very red shoulder.

The aliens froze and turned to their former commander while the humans looked themselves over. Surely enough, they were all as red as Shepard, and the four of them exchanged wide-eyed glances. The Reaper War had only ended a year ago, so there wasn’t enough medi-gel to spare for a simple sunburn, meaning that Shepard, James, Joker, and Ashley were going to have to deal with it on their own. And somehow, that seemed worse to them than the multiple bullets they’d taken and the bones they had broken over the years.

Javik stepped forward, his penetrating gaze sweeping over the human and her red skin. “Strange. You humans have changed colors.” He then reached forward and touched the woman’s shoulder, ignoring her subsequent grimace. “And your skin is warm.”

Tali, who had been swaying, stumbled, then caught herself by throwing an arm around Ashley’s shoulders. The dark-haired woman shouted and tried to pull away, but that led to both of them falling to the sand in what looked to be a painful heap.

As Garrus helped up the quarian, EDI spoke. “According to my research, this is what humans call a sunburn. Their skin is burned by their sun, and it must peel off to heel. Contact causes pain, and that pain is normally reduced by aloe.”

Wrex laughed, drawing the attention to him. “So all you have to do to hurt a human is put them outside?”

“It could kill them, actually,” EDI answered. When all of the aliens were staring at her, wide-eyed now that they realized their friends might be in danger. “The UV rays of their sun could cause a deadly disease called skin cancer.”

While the aliens exchanged glances, Shepard forced a laugh. “I defeated the reapers. Do you think I’m going to let the sun kill me?”

This time, everyone was looking at each other in a strange silence, which was eventually broken by Joker murmuring, “We should… probably go inside.”


	3. The Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: You’re at work, like any normal day, and happen to look out the window as you head to the break room for a second cup of coffee. What you see makes you stop in your tracks: What is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also found on my Tumblr (thewritingraptor) and Wattpad (Moukin)

A tired-looking Shepard was making her way to the break room for the fifth time that day, and she hoped the trip wouldn’t be for naught once again. Her first trip at nearly three o’clock in the morning had resulted in her sighing and returning to bed when she saw that there was no coffee awaiting her. She managed to get a cup during second trip four hours later, a more reasonable time. The third and fourth trips had involved her glaring at an empty coffee pot and the people milling about that had poured the last of it into their cups.

Shepard walked through the halls, unaware of her surroundings. She was tired and there was she was following a path that she knew well, so there was no point in taking note of anything. Acting as if she were interested in what was around her would only make the people milling about more likely to strike up a conversation, which wasn’t something she was in the mood for. In fact, she wasn’t sure she was even in the mood for coffee, but she knew that she had to stay up and finish that report. Why that report needed to be completed so soon when it only pertained to the temporary leave of a pregnant lieutenant hadn’t been made clear to the woman, but she was too exhausted to argue.

The brunette entered the break room, trying not to drag her heels and failing quite miserably. When she realized that she could distinctly smell coffee, her head rose, and a ghost of a smile played across her lips as she took in the sight of the pot of hot coffee waiting for her. Her steps quickened and in seconds she was pouring herself a cup.

The liquid was scalding, something Shepard could tell just by holding the mug, and in a show of patience that was rare for her, she decided to wait and let it cool. The break room was empty, so she didn’t mind pacing it slowly, keeping her gaze on the wall of glass as she did so.

On her third trip around, she heard someone running down the hall, and she paused to glance towards the door and await their arrival; she figured something had gone wrong and she was needed. When the approaching man ran right past the room, abandoning a stack of datapads in the process, the former commander raised an eyebrow.

Eventually, taking a much-needed sip of coffee, she shrugged off the strange feeling growing in the pit of her stomach and turned back to the window.

The shattering of ceramics made Shepard realize that she’d frozen, but it was the scalding heat of the liquid it had contained splashing onto her legs that made her jolt from the room. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she needed to leave that window far behind her.

In her haste, the former commander had forgotten about the datapads that had been dropped in the hall. Shepard was sprawled on the floor, unable to find the strength to stand, when an all-too-familiar noise filled her head; the building; the town; the country. Pressing her hands to her ears did nothing; only trapped the sound within her skull to make it even harder to think.

The reapers were back. Somehow, they’d returned. Shepard could have sworn that she’d made that impossible. Hadn’t she entered the crucible? She had, hadn’t she? The fleeting face of Captain Anderson made her more willing to believe that she had, and so she tried to press on with her thoughts.

Another loud, mechanical sound broke the silence that had settled in the hallway, followed by a chorus of identical horns that took Shepard’s breath away.

She’d entered the crucible. She had to believe that. If she hadn’t, then how would she have been having a calm cup of coffee only seconds ago? So, if she had entered the crucible, then she would have had to have destroyed the reapers. That had been her mission, and she would have accomplished it. She wouldn’t have left until she had accomplished it. So why couldn’t she remember what had come between destroying the reapers and their apparent return?

As Shepard twitched on the ground, her head between her hands and her breathing shallow and quick, she realized she had no idea what had come before the day she was currently living. Why was she in charge of filing reports on the temporary leave of lieutenants that she wasn’t in charge of. What was her position in the Alliance? Why wasn’t she still a commander?

Would she be in command when the Alliance banded together to once again battle the reapers?

EDI, who was making her hourly rounds for the tenth time that day, froze. It had been thirteen months since the end of the war, and the artificial intelligence had been reactivated after three months. Complications had followed, but most had been worked out, and now the robotic woman was in charge of observing the savior of the galaxy. And today, for the first time in over a year, she twitched.


	4. Last Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “I wasn’t planning on this. Falling in love with you was the last thing I wanted. Because I know our time would have to come to end. Yet, here I am, begging you not to turn the page.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story can also be found on my Tumblr (thewritingraptor) and Wattpad (Moukin)

What was he supposed to do? Accept it? Move on? As hard as it was to just say that, it was infinitely harder to actually do it. Liara had told him to busy himself with something else, but he wouldn’t move. Javik had suggested that he go shoot something; anything, but he couldn’t even look at his gun without remembering shooting cans with her. Tali had tried to offer him a drink - she was constantly getting drunk, and she thought it might be a temporary fix for him - but his hands were shaking too badly to grasp the bottle. James started an argument with him, but he realized quickly that the man was just trying to distract him and the conversation was abruptly ended. Wrex tried to do the same thing at first, then ended up just sitting beside him, the closest to tears that he had ever seen a krogan become.

Once Wrex had left to return to his new family and clan, Joker remained by the man’s side, mourning the loss of his friend and commander even though she was still alive, stuck in a vegetative state with little hope of recovery. He himself had lost EDI; she’d gone offline at the same time that the reapers and mass relays had.

The only sound that filled the room was the beeping of a heart monitor, keeping an even pace that reminded Garrus that time was passing. Joker was asleep, leaning forward in his chair and stretching out across Shepard’s dead legs. Garrus had her hand in his, taking solace in the fact that there was still some warmth to it.

Suddenly, Joker shot up, and Garrus used his free hand to catch the man before he could fall out of his chair and break yet another bone; the human’s nightmares had been recurring and predictable, but the man woke up with a start and a yelp every time.

Joker calmed quickly, the turian hand on his chest and the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor snapping him back to the present; a present that he really didn’t want to be in.

Garrus looked like a semi-functioning corpse, and though Jeff knew he didn’t look much better, at least he didn’t have the turian equivalent of bags under his eyes aging his face well beyond his years. He didn’t know what to do to fix that, though; there was no way the handicapped human would be able to force the turian to sleep or leave his lover’s side. There was one thing available to him, but he grasped it tightly in the pocket of his pants and once again talked himself out of handing it over.

This time, however, the tired turian took notice, and Joker decided that it was a necessary evil. So, as the scarred alien followed his every movement, Joker took the crumpled pieces of paper that Shepard had handed to him before her final mission. Though it wasn’t addressed to him, he’d unfolded and refolded it many times, balled it up and smoothed it out, even ripped it up and pieced it back together. He’d done all of that while he was alone, either hiding in a bathroom stall or locking himself in a storage closet so that no one could see him, but now he had an audience, one that was utterly confused by the strange human scrawl that he was reading upside down.

With shaking hands, Jeff smoothed out the papers, cleared his throat, and read aloud his former commander’s last letter to her lover.

“Dear Garrus-” Jeff had to stop there and take a deep breath, trying to ignore the way the turian before him tensed. This was a personal and private thing for Garrus, something he shouldn’t have to share with a human that he really didn’t know all that well, but someone had to read it aloud to him, and Jeff wasn’t about to pass it on to James or one of the human doctors. So, after steeling his nerves, he continued.

“I wasn’t planning on this.” Garrus knew that the “I” referred to Commander Shepard; Joker could tell by the way the turian’s hand tightened around the now frail woman’s. “Falling in love with you was the last thing I wanted. Because I know our time would have to come to an end. Yet, here I am, begging you not to turn the page.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Joker did just that, and the meat of the letter began. Despite the fact that he’d read it countless times before, he started crying before Garrus, and he had to pause every few sentences to clear his throat or take a deep breath. And, by the time that he reached the end, he was holding it away from him so that the few tears that escaped him wouldn’t fall onto the paper and smudge the writing.

Garrus took that as he was offering it to him, and he pulled the letter from the human’s hands, his eyes darting over the quickly scrawled writing and trying to make sense of it. He didn’t look up when Joker chuckled, but he did make sure to listen to what he said. “She’s got terrible handwriting. Humans would call it chicken scratch.”

“Jeff…”

The human sighed, unable to do anything more after hearing the vibrations in the turian’s voice that were normally only perceived by others of their species but were loud and clear for Joker in that moment. He murmured a quick apology, then stood up to leave, only to stop when three calloused, rough fingers wrapped lightly around his forearm.

The moment their eyes met, Garrus asked, “Where’s the shooting range?”


	5. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short thing for Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story can also be found on my Tumblr (imagine-masseffect) and Wattpad (Moukin)

“What…?”

Garrus Vakarian couldn’t form any more words than that, and the rest of the alien crew couldn’t even get that much out. Some of them made strangled sounds of surprise, but most of them just had their jaws hanging open, nearly touching their chests.

The human crew was shocked by their commander’s appearance as well, but one look at their calendars gave them the explanation they needed; it was October 31st. They couldn’t really say that they didn’t understand why she had chosen to dress up - her job was stressful and she probably needed a reason to get drunk without worrying her crew - and the outfit was reminiscent of what she normally wore - it was just a skimpy version of a military uniform, showing off her long legs, impressive cleavage, and slender arms - but that didn’t mean they were entirely willing to dress up with her.

Joker and Kasumi were the only exceptions to that, having already dressed up with her - the commander had mentioned it to Joker when visiting him on the bridge, and Kasumi had been eavesdropping - and Kasumi joined her commander a few moments later, wearing a “sexy spy” outfit, with her cleavage showing in a way that made Jacob turn away and repeat the rules that had been drilled into his head during his military training, just to give himself a distraction.

The alien crew continued to stare, having been gathered in the mess hall by Joker over the intercom. As Kasumi adopted her “casual” stance, with her hip jutting out to one side and her arms hanging loosely, Shepard tried to mimic her, but she ended up crossing her arms under her chest, feeling that she needed to do something with them. No one spoke, and finally Joker decided to break the silence over the intercom.

“I know you probably won’t get the joke, but I’m dressed as Superman. Well,” he added as Kasumi let out a chuckle and Shepard spared a smile, “currently I’m Clark Kent. I’ve got the rest of the outfit underneath my current one.”

Still, no one said anything, so EDI spouted out a few facts for the confused crew. “Today is a human holiday called Halloween. During this holiday, humans dress up in costumes and have parties. Typically, children dress up and do an activity labeled as “Trick or Treating,” where they go from door to door and ask for candy. The holiday is also known by many other names and is celebrated in many different ways, some of which celebrate ancestors, but Halloween seems to fit this situation best.”

And then Joker spoke again. “We’re arriving at the Citadel, Commander.”

Finally, the woman spoke. “Good. Once we’ve docked, you all have two hours to find a costume. If you do not have a costume that the three judges-”

“That would be me, Shepard, and Joker,” Kasumi interrupted.

Shepard continued on with a simple nod. “- approve of, you will not be allowed to drink. Is that understood?”

Slowly; hesitantly, everyone nodded, and the commander smiled in a way that scared them even more than her costume. “Good,” she chirped again, “then you may begin.”

Zaeed was the first to move, trudging begrudgingly to the elevator and calling Legion to follow him, claiming that he had some idea of what he could be. Samara followed, mumbling something about keeping the peace as those two couldn’t be trusted to travel the Citadel together.

Thane followed Miranda, who left next, apparently realizing that he would need a human’s help to find a costume meant for the occasion, which prompted Grunt to leave with Jacob and Mordin to leave with Jack. Finally, Garrus and Tali were left alone, and they both moved to beg their commander and friend to let them off with a free pass to just wear whatever they wanted, but the woman just turned on her heel and left. The pair then turned to Kasumi, who only winked and wished them good luck before disappearing.

The citizens on the large space station saw a few strange things that day; a krogan wearing bunny ears, a salarian wearing a white wig, and a turian holding up a human swimsuit to a quarian and wondering how it might look over her suit were among those many things. But, two hours later, the entire crew had returned to the Normandy, and most had been allowed into the game room, where all of the drinks had been stored.

Zaeed, Legion, and Samara had returned first, with Zaeed dressed as Boba Fett - it fit him almost perfectly, according to Joker - Samara as Mother Teresa - Zaeed had thought it was funny, but Samara didn’t think so once the joke had been explained to her by Shepard - and Legion as a lamp - all they’d done for him was throw a lampshade on his head. The three humans smiled and shook their heads or rolled their eyes, then allowed the three to visit the bar and start up whatever game they wanted.

Halfway through their fifth game of poker, Miranda and Thane showed up. Shepard outright laughed at Thane’s outfit - Miranda had dressed him as the Grinch, whereas she had been expecting some kind of alien - then laughed harder at Miranda’s cheerleader outfit - her fight with Jack must have still been fresh on her mind. Both were allowed in, and Miranda quickly grabbed a drink before joining the game while Thane resigned himself to just watching.

A few minutes later, Jack arrived with Mordin in tow. Jack was dressed as a cop - her outfit wasn’t skimpy, but it did hug her in all the right ways - and at first it appeared that Mordin was just her prisoner. But then Joker laughed, “Oh God, that’s perfect!” and Shepard realized that Jack had dressed Mordin as Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

Both were allowed in just as Grunt and Jacob arrived. Jacob, apparently having gotten his idea from Joker, was dressed as Batman, while he’d transformed Grunt into Solomon Grundy. Joker once again thought the costume was brilliant, immediately launching into a discussion about old human comics that even most of the humans couldn’t follow, so both were allowed in.

Lastly, nearly two minutes late, Garrus and Tali showed up, with Tali wearing a tutu and a crown and waving a wand every which way while Garrus had on a variety of things that made it clear that he was a pirate. The three judges shared a glance, then denied the two aliens access, shutting the door on them just as Shepard shrugged as way of “apology.”

Another round of beer pong later, there was a knock at the door, and Shepard opened it to find that Tali and Garrus had switched outfits; Tali was now a pirate, fake bird and all, while Garrus was holding the pink, star-tipped wand like he might stab someone with it were they to get too close. Shepard only laughed and allowed them into the room, and the the turian and quarian quickly got caught up on what they’d missed, downing a few shots before making their way over to the beer pong table.

The Normandy stayed docked at the Citadel, allowing its pilot to pass out along with the rest of the crew sometime during the night. Or well into the morning. They made sure to keep the shutter closed so as not to allow anyone to see them, so they weren’t even sure if time was passing. They did, however, know that people were passing out at different times, and the ones left awake would take turns messing with the sleeping crew member the moment they started snoring.

The next morning would be nearly impossible to trudge through, but no one was going to complain about the night that led to it.


End file.
